Since I’ve been writing for the Oregon Sports News, I’ve actually increased the amount of sports television I
consume to include glances at the NBA playoffs and the NHL playoffs while going
between the MLB game of the night and the Mariners’ game. With watching smaller networks like
RootSports and TNT, comes a saturation of repeating commercials.
It’s safe to say, I’m no longer
excited by the prospect of switching to Verizon and I’ve begun to tire of the
formerly quirky fun Flo at Progressive, although I still think Wendy is pretty
enticing with that Tuscan Chicken sandwich.
But, lately I’ve grown increasingly disturbed by a few commercials, so I
thought I’d share my Four Really Creepy Commercials I See Way Too Much.
Number Four – Creepy Wire Kid
Creepy Wire Kid is presumably the
son of Creepy Wire Wife, who we’ll discuss in a minute. DirectTV has some great commercials, like all
those if /then / this happens / ditch cable spots. “Don’t get body slammed by a lowland gorilla.”
But, the latest campaign to get rid of ugly wires, unless they belong to your
creepy marionette family is a little bizarre.
How exactly does the kid get caught in the fan? Where were the top of his wires? And, who’s holding the wires?
Number Three – Creepy Wire Wife
This is the first of the
marionette family pieces, and I’m betting we aren’t stopping with Creepy Wire
Kid that’s number two. Creepy Wire Wife
has the shock value of WTF, and the comedic element of Dave Chappelle wanna be
who proclaims, “not weird.” I think the most disturbing part of Creepy Wire
Wife is her complete lack of coordination as she spills lemonade all over the
place. I thought the movie about the
dude who wanted to marry his computer was weird enough, but this is definitely
not not weird.
Number Two – Uncomfortable Sister Behavior
Now, I don’t have a sister, and
if I did, she probably wouldn’t crave Hot Pockets, as she would have presumably
been raised by parents too. But, the
idea that you introduce your sister to a friend and they immediately start
making sexual innuendo over opposite ends of Hot Pocket is definitely creepy.
Number One – Sexual Harassment at the Jack-in-the-Box
Company Pic Nic
Two things. Company CEO Jack. “Daddy Like.”
Nuff Said. Just watch it.
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