During the
local television broadcasts of Seattle Mariner games and Seattle Sounder games,
an organization named UNDERDOG Sports Leagues has been advertising the
formation of summer, adult, co-ed sports leagues.
Among the sports were the to-be-expected
offerings like kickball, (which from my understanding is usually a thinly
veiled excuse to drink outdoors during the day, but that might be a southern
thing and not a Pacific Northwest thing), flag-football, and volleyball. For the slightly more skilled adult, there
were co-ed slow and fast pitch softball teams.
But, the one offering that surprised me, if for no other reason than it
has been systematically phased out for children due to its barbaric “bullying”
quality, was Dodge Ball.
Adult Dodge Ball?
Who exactly plays adult co-ed dodge
ball?
My experience as a child was that
there were generally speaking two types of dodge ball players: the predators and the prey. The more athletic and aggressive boys of
fifth and sixth grade, predators, took the opportunity to punish the less
athletic (or let’s face it – completely un-athletic) boys and girls (no sex
discrimination here) by cornering them and smashing that infamous red ball off their
head. The coach would smirk with
satisfaction, as he was also that athletic, aggressive boy at 10, but in the
spirit of making sure no one went to the nurse’s office, he would remind the
players to aim below the shoulders. This
would usually result in weak boy prey being targeted in their boy zone and weak
girl prey being targeted in the chest.
Fast forward to adulthood. How many of the prey who survived dodge ball
in PE as children want to relive that as adults? Maybe some of them grew into athleticism and
want revenge? I’m betting there are some
of those, but the experience of being victimized usually leads one to be more
sympathetic to those less fortunate. In
other words, we’re all democrats now and can’t have adult co-ed dodge ball on
our resume of interests or extra-curricular activities.
And what about the predator adult
counterparts? Do they seriously think
the easy pickings of middle school are still there to be tormented in adult
co-ed dodge ball? I’m thinking, no, so
do these games degenerate into Lord of the Flies meets the Hunger Games on a
nice Saturday morning?
I am modestly interested in
witnessing this social experiment, but not nearly enough to even think about
signing up for the league and a therapist.
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