Four Really Creepy Commercials I See Way Too Much

Since I’ve been writing for the Oregon Sports News, I’ve actually increased the amount of sports television I consume to include glances at the NBA playoffs and the NHL playoffs while going between the MLB game of the night and the Mariners’ game.  With watching smaller networks like RootSports and TNT, comes a saturation of repeating commercials. 

It’s safe to say, I’m no longer excited by the prospect of switching to Verizon and I’ve begun to tire of the formerly quirky fun Flo at Progressive, although I still think Wendy is pretty enticing with that Tuscan Chicken sandwich.  But, lately I’ve grown increasingly disturbed by a few commercials, so I thought I’d share my Four Really Creepy Commercials I See Way Too Much.

Number Four – Creepy Wire Kid

Creepy Wire Kid is presumably the son of Creepy Wire Wife, who we’ll discuss in a minute.  DirectTV has some great commercials, like all those if /then / this happens / ditch cable spots.  “Don’t get body slammed by a lowland gorilla.” But, the latest campaign to get rid of ugly wires, unless they belong to your creepy marionette family is a little bizarre.  How exactly does the kid get caught in the fan?  Where were the top of his wires?  And, who’s holding the wires?

Number Three – Creepy Wire Wife

This is the first of the marionette family pieces, and I’m betting we aren’t stopping with Creepy Wire Kid that’s number two.  Creepy Wire Wife has the shock value of WTF, and the comedic element of Dave Chappelle wanna be who proclaims, “not weird.” I think the most disturbing part of Creepy Wire Wife is her complete lack of coordination as she spills lemonade all over the place.  I thought the movie about the dude who wanted to marry his computer was weird enough, but this is definitely not not weird.

Number Two – Uncomfortable Sister Behavior 

Now, I don’t have a sister, and if I did, she probably wouldn’t crave Hot Pockets, as she would have presumably been raised by parents too.  But, the idea that you introduce your sister to a friend and they immediately start making sexual innuendo over opposite ends of Hot Pocket is definitely creepy.

Number One – Sexual Harassment at the Jack-in-the-Box 

Company Pic Nic

Two things.  Company CEO Jack.  “Daddy Like.”  Nuff Said.  Just watch it.